Ina Garten stands in the cozy library of her East Hampton home, gently holding her husband Jeffrey’s face as she reassures him that he looks great for their PEOPLE magazine shoot. “He’s truly the best,” she says fondly after he steps out of the room.
Their sweet interaction paints a picture of a relationship that seems flawless. Yet, in her candid new memoir, *Be Ready When the Luck Happens*, featured in this week’s cover story, Ina, 76, reflects on a turbulent chapter in their marriage. She reveals that the couple faced a difficult separation and almost divorced during the 1970s.
At the time, Ina was consumed by her work, managing the Barefoot Contessa — a specialty food store that would eventually make her a household name. Meanwhile, Jeffrey had different expectations, hoping for a more traditional home life, with dinner on the table each night, she shares with PEOPLE.
“There were certain expectations in our marriage that I found frustrating,” Ina recalls. “I felt like I needed to hit pause to make him see things from my perspective.”
During that time, Ina had left her job in Washington, D.C., where she and Jeffrey both worked in the White House, to take on the challenge of running the Barefoot Contessa. While Jeffrey stayed in D.C. during the week, he would join Ina in the Hamptons on weekends.
“When I bought Barefoot Contessa, I completely dismantled our traditional roles,” Ina writes in her upcoming memoir, due out on October 1. “I went from being a supportive wife to a businesswoman, juggling everything from cooking and cleaning to managing the store. My focus on the business was so intense that I didn’t have room for anything else. There were no expectations about who got home first because I was always at work!”
Jeffrey’s weekend visits, which once felt like a welcome reprieve, became a distraction. “I wasn’t giving him the attention he deserved because I was too absorbed in the store,” Ina admits. “He was settled and living his dream, but I wasn’t. I realized I couldn’t figure out who I was or what I wanted until I had the space to do it on my own. I needed that freedom to discover myself.”
Ina considered ending her marriage but ultimately chose to ask Jeffrey for a separation instead.
“I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and at my lowest point, I wondered if divorce was the only solution,” she writes. “I loved Jeffrey deeply and didn’t want to hurt or shock him, so I decided to start with a separation.”
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I told him I needed space to figure things out on my own. I didn’t say if it was temporary or permanent. In typical Jeffrey fashion, he responded, ‘If you feel you need to be on your own, then you should do it.’ He packed his bag and went back to Washington, not knowing if he’d ever return. I pushed my feelings aside and focused entirely on my work.”
When the Barefoot Contessa closed for the winter season, Ina returned to Washington, D.C., just before Jeffrey was scheduled to leave for a six-week work assignment.
“Jeffrey met me at the train station, and when we arrived at our house, we sat on the steps outside, hesitant to go in,” she recalls. “It felt like we were trapped between two worlds—the way things used to be when we were simply Ina and Jeffrey, and the painful reality of where we were now. It was a heartbreaking limbo.”
“‘What can I do to change your mind?’ he asked, hopeful but unaware that I was questioning whether our marriage could survive. I couldn’t continue in the traditional ‘husband and wife’ dynamic anymore. Jeffrey hadn’t done anything wrong—he was just following the norms every man before him had. But times were changing, and I had changed too. I needed something different.”
Ina told Jeffrey that if he wanted their marriage to work, he needed to see a therapist. She hoped professional guidance would help him understand her need to be seen as an equal partner with a voice just as important as his.
“Jeffrey only needed one session,” Ina shares with PEOPLE. “He went for an hour and came back completely understanding my perspective.”
In *Be Ready When the Luck Happens*, Ina writes, “The fact that Jeffrey agreed to see a therapist was as meaningful as anything that might have come from the session itself. It showed how committed he was to saving our marriage.” Over the next six weeks, they talked openly, really listened to each other, and, most importantly, understood each other’s concerns. They realized they could rebuild their relationship as equals, caring for each other in a balanced and supportive way. It wasn’t an instant transformation, but with shared determination, they knew they could make it work.
That challenging time made their bond stronger than ever. Jeffrey, now 77 and a professor at Yale, has been her steadfast partner since they began dating in 1965. In her memoir, Ina also opens up about the painful memories of her childhood in Stamford, Connecticut, where she faced emotional abuse from her mother, Florence, and physical abuse from her father, Charles.
Reflecting on the challenging period in her marriage, Ina has no regrets about requesting a separation.
“I adore everything about Ina,” Jeffrey says. “I admire her ability to excel at everything she does.”
“Thank goodness I did it,” Ina admits. “It was risky and felt like a huge gamble at the time, but we wouldn’t have the strong relationship we have today if I hadn’t taken that step.”
“It transformed him,” she adds, “but it also transformed me.”
Her memoir, *Be Ready When the Luck Happens*, will be released on October 1 by Crown Publishing Group and is now available for preorder wherever books are sold.