“I vividly remember thinking he could kill me if I did something wrong,” Ina Garten revealed. “I was physically afraid of him.”
Reflecting on her childhood in the 1950s, Garten shared that her father was strict with both her and her brother. “It was a different era, far from today’s ‘helicopter parenting’ and focus on children’s emotional well-being,” she explained.
Her father’s approach was rigid, often saying, “Being a parent isn’t a popularity contest,” justifying his expectation that they follow his rules without question.
“It wasn’t about what we wanted—it was about doing what he wanted,” Garten said. As someone who valued independence, this made things difficult for her. She often retreated to her bedroom for protection. “Even when violence wasn’t present, the fear lingered,” she confessed. “I spent most of my childhood in my room with the door closed, trying to keep myself safe.”
Garten also revealed she didn’t receive support from her mother, leading to an overall lonely childhood.
“When I look back at my mom, I believe she did the best she could. She just didn’t know how to build a relationship,” Ina Garten told People. “As I’ve grown older, relationships have become so important to me, probably because of that.
I think she discouraged me from cooking because she didn’t want me in her space. She wanted distance, so my room became my safe haven.”
Despite her mother’s restrictions, Garten found her own path. She wasn’t allowed to cook as a child, but that didn’t stop her. She met her husband, Jeffrey, at age 15 and went on to establish the Barefoot Contessa brand in 1978 after purchasing a food store of the same name.
By 2002, she had her own Food Network show, beloved for her approachable recipes.
“Many people fall back into familiar patterns, but I was determined not to. When I met Jeffrey, he showed me a completely different way to live,” she explained.
Garten has also opened up about rebuilding her relationship with her father. In June, she shared a wedding photo on Instagram, reflecting on the journey.
“My dad and I had a complicated relationship when I was young, but after I got married, we were able to change that,” Ina Garten wrote. “I’m truly grateful for the happy, positive times we spent together. Looking back, I realize he had a huge influence on my life.
In many ways, we were alike—he loved parties, valued his work, cherished his friends, and cared about style. Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers, past and present.”
Garten told People she “made peace” with her father because, in his own way, he apologized—something her mother never did. Her new book, Be Ready When the Luck Begins, will be available on October 1.
How it changed her life
“Due to the trauma and abuse she endured as a child, Ina Garten feared becoming a parent, ultimately deciding not to have children. Despite this, her husband Jeffrey has always been supportive of her choice, though Ina has admitted on several occasions that he would have made an incredible father.”