When it comes to birthdays, most parents go all out—balloons, themed cakes, rented spaces, and enough party favors to fill a closet. But HGTV’s beloved duo, Erin and Ben Napier, are flipping that script with one surprisingly simple rule for their daughters’ celebrations. It’s a rule they admit might sound “unpopular,” yet it perfectly captures their down-to-earth parenting style and small-town values.
The Birthday Rule That Raised Eyebrows
In a recent interview with Today, the Home Town stars revealed that their daughters Helen, 7, and Mae, 4, don’t have the Pinterest-perfect, over-the-top parties that many families have come to expect. Instead, the Napiers abide by a tradition that keeps things grounded.
“Our rule is, until they’re old enough to plan it themselves, it’s supper at grandparents,” Ben explained.
For Erin, the logic is simple. “If your 4-year-old’s birthday party looks like a wedding, what do they have to look forward to? Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I think there’s a lot of moms out there who feel the same way I do.”
The philosophy may seem unusual in today’s world of curated Instagram parties, but for the Napiers, it’s a conscious choice to protect their kids’ childhood from unnecessary pressure and extravagance.
Erin and Ben Napier just revealed their shocking ‘unpopular’ birthday party rule
Why Simplicity Matters to the Napiers
Erin and Ben have never shied away from their roots. The couple, who live in Laurel, Mississippi, built their careers—and their fame—by celebrating small-town life. Through their hit HGTV series Home Town, they’ve shown audiences the charm of preserving traditions and embracing simplicity. Their approach to parenting is no different.
By keeping birthday parties limited to family dinners, they ensure their daughters focus on connection, not spectacle. It’s a choice that aligns with their values, but it also sparks larger conversations about the expectations modern parents face.
In an era where children’s parties sometimes rival wedding receptions, the Napiers’ stance feels like a quiet rebellion—one that many parents might secretly admire.
Parenthood in the Public Eye
Raising children under the spotlight comes with its own challenges. While Erin and Ben are open about certain aspects of their family life, they remain fiercely protective of their daughters’ privacy. Unlike many celebrity parents, they share glimpses of Helen and Mae without making them central figures in their brand.
Earlier this year, Erin shared a touching moment on Instagram that highlighted the tender bond between her daughters. After dropping Helen at school, she noticed Mae was unusually quiet. When asked what she would do that day without her sister, Mae’s response melted hearts: “My day will be small without Helen.” The simple yet profound statement reminded Erin—and her followers—how deeply children value the little things.
Helen’s Budding Creativity
It’s no surprise that creativity runs in the Napier household. Last year, Erin proudly revealed that her daughter Helen was already dreaming like a designer. The seven-year-old had begun sketching and describing the kind of home she wanted to live in when she grows up.
According to Erin, Helen envisioned a “little cottage that’s wood with a brick chimney” near the family’s country house pond. Her plans even included sensory details—“it will smell like s’mores inside and we will play Christmas music mostly but sometimes fall-sounding music.”
Sharing the moment with her fans, Erin wrote, “I’ve never wanted to visit a place that doesn’t exist so badly.” It was a glimpse into how Helen might someday carry forward the family’s design legacy.
Balancing Fame, Work, and Family
Since their debut on HGTV, Erin and Ben Napier have become household names. Their renovation projects, community work, and spin-offs like Home Town Takeover have brought them national acclaim. Yet, despite their busy schedules, they maintain an intentional balance between work and home life.
The birthday party rule isn’t just about frugality or tradition—it’s about drawing boundaries. By resisting the pressure to over-celebrate, they preserve space for what matters most: family dinners, shared stories, and the comfort of grandparents’ homes.
Reactions from Fans and Parents
The couple’s revelation sparked a wide range of reactions online. Some parents praised the Napiers for rejecting unnecessary extravagance, admitting they often feel overwhelmed by the cultural expectation to throw “perfect” parties. Others suggested the approach might be too limiting, worrying children could miss out on social experiences.
But for Erin, the choice isn’t about depriving her daughters—it’s about saving the excitement for when they’re old enough to genuinely appreciate it. “When Helen or Mae is ready to plan her own party, we’ll celebrate it exactly the way she wants,” Erin noted in a follow-up post.
A Parenting Philosophy Rooted in Tradition
At its core, the Napiers’ philosophy mirrors the values they bring to their show: keep things real, meaningful, and grounded in community. Their decision to keep birthdays simple is less about saying “no” to fun and more about saying “yes” to intentionality.
They understand that childhood is fleeting. Over-the-top parties may create memories, but so do quiet dinners at grandparents’ tables, where the focus isn’t on décor or themes but on laughter and love.
As Helen and Mae grow, it’s likely their birthday traditions will evolve. Maybe Helen will one day design her own themed party, or Mae will request a big celebration with friends. When that time comes, Erin and Ben will be there, ready to support them. But for now, the rule stands—a simple supper with family, proving that sometimes the smallest celebrations carry the biggest meaning.
Conclusion
Erin and Ben Napier’s “unpopular” birthday party rule may not fit today’s Instagram-perfect culture, but it speaks volumes about who they are as parents. In choosing simplicity, they’re giving their daughters something more lasting than a pile of themed decorations: the grounding presence of family, tradition, and love.
And in a world where childhood often feels rushed, maybe that’s exactly the kind of gift more parents should consider giving.
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